One of the greatest parts of February is the corporate display of romance spurred by the fat-cupid holiday known as Valentine’s Day. Unless, that is, you’re planning on spending V-Day alone in your bed spooning a tub of Haagen-Daz like some kind of looooser. Well ladies, Diarrhea Planet guitarist Evan Bird is about to make your dreams come true. The mustachioed Lone Ranger Of Love is offering the women of the world the chance to win a date with him—as long as they have a car, are in the Nashville area or willing to travel, love dogs, have a sense of humor and aren’t addicted to drugs. Sound like you? You could be making little baby Birds by the time 2014’s over!
According to a press release, here’s what you have to do:

In 5 sentences or less, explain your dream date with Evan, your T-­shirt size for your Infinity Cat and Diarrhea Planet shirts included with the date, LP or CD preference, and any interesting or fun facts that would help persuade our panel of judges to select you.

No word on who the panel of judges is. Evan’s mom? Evan’s dog? Jaoquin Phoenix and his computer? Either way, here’s hoping that if you win, he serenades you with an ear-blasting guitar solo. Sexy.
All submissions must be sent to iketurnerofguitar@gmail.com by February 12.