Don’t call it a comeback, because Tesco Vee may slap you if you do. Vee’s legendary ‘80s hardcore punk outfit, The Meatmen, is setting out on a 25-date tour in April to shock crowds across the country with its signature brand of hilarious and politically incorrect aggro-punk. In preparation, Vee claims that he is “polishing up the confetti cannons, hitting the weight machine, and hanging heavy household objects from [his] genitalia.” Very similar to the CMJ office morning routine, obviously.

While Vee’s ready to entertain some of the seasoned punk veterans at his shows, he’s also gearing up to school some of the young ones who find themselves in his audience. Ironically, his day job used to be exactly that. During the ‘80s, Vee was a fourth grade school teacher, spending his days teaching little kids correct subject/predicate agreement. Luckily, none of the students’ mothers knew that Mr. Vee was spending his nights on stage grunting out songs entitled “Tooling For Anus.” Ignorance is bliss.

While on tour, Vee will also be signing copies of Touch And Go: The Complete Hardcore Punk Zine 1979-1983, the complete anthology his hardcore punk fan-zine from the early ‘80s. Don’t expect a signature on the inside cover followed by an uninspired, broad motivational quote. For some good entertainment, read anything that Vee has written on his site.

Tour Dates For The Meatmen:
04/05 – Denver, CO – Marquis
04/06 – Salt Lake City, UT – Burt’s Tiki Room
04/07 – Boise, ID – The Shredder
04/08 – Seattle WA – El Corazon
04/09 – Portland OR – Plan B
04/10 – Oakland, CA – Oakland Metro
04/11 – Sacramento CA – Fire Escape
04/12 – Santa Cruz CA – Matty Hodel Building
04/13 – Lompoc, CA – Wicked Shamrock
04/14 – Los Angeles, CA – The Airliner
04/15 – Long Beach, CA – Alex’s Bar
04/16 – Las Vegas, NV – Las Vegas Country Saloon
04/17 – San Diego, CA – The Shakedown
04/18 – Phoenix AZ – Yucca Tap Room
04/19 – Albuquerque, NM – Moonlight Lounge
04/20 – El Paso, TX – Badlands Billiards
04/21 – San Antonio, TX – Nightrocker Live
04/22 – Houston, TX – Walters on Washington
04/23 – Austin TX – Red 7
04/24 – Dallas, TX – Doublewide
04/25 – Ok. City, OK – The Conservatory
04/26 – St. Louis, MO – The Fubar
04/27 – Des Moines, IA – The Underground
04/28 – Minneapolis, MN – Triple Rock Soc. Club
04/29 – Chicago IL – Memories