NORWEGIAN WOOD (AND METAL)
Over the weekend, I flew to Bergen, Norway on a freelance assignment to interview the new band from members of Norwegian black metallers Immortal, Enslaved and Gorgoroth, called I (good luck searching for that on the ‘net). The city truly impressed me. It’s so beautiful—the streets are cobblestone, the churches are wooden and they have a fish market that’s existed for over a thousand years. How is it that this country gave birth to Satanic black metal? Since it holds records for rainfall, I saw rainbows everywhere. At the recommendation of ex-Gorgoroth bassist King Ov Hell, I took a tram up into the mountains and saw De syv fjell, the seven mountains that surround the city. Everyone I met was friendly, most holding my shoulder when they talked to me. While there, I attended the Hole In The Sky festival and saw the following bands play: Celtic Frost, My Dying Bride, I, 1349, Sahg, Keep Of Kalessin, Satyricon, Destruction and Atheist. The bands would hang out outside, even bands that weren’t playing. I got my picture taken with Darkthrone’s Fenriz, but unfortunately that was one that didn’t come out. Also, I saw Grutle Kjellson getting drunk and chatting it up. King Ov Hell immediately recognized me from an interview I did with him in the States and was as friendly as ever. It was truly a trip to remember. Below are my Bests and Worsts from the trip.
Best black metal band live: 1349. Singer Ravn came out and blew a fireball over the crowd. They had four large, red flames behind them, torches around their drummer, Frost, and a viking helmet with a flame inside it. One of their guitarists had nine-inch nails sticking out from his armbands. It was truly a sight to behold. They had so much smoke, they had to shut down the show. When Ravn came back out, he said, “I guess we’re just too much hellfire for this place.” They closed with “I Am Abomination” from their latest, Hellfire, and the crowd chanted along. I’m apprehensive about seeing them with Celtic Frost on their upcoming US tour, because how could they top this show?
Best use of fire, runner up: Sahg. The new Black Sabbath-sounding band from King Ov Hell, who had so many flames around them, they had to take them offstage halfway through.
Biggest surprise musically and visually: I. Abbath wears no corpsepaint, or as he used to call it, “war paint.” This supergroup, which features ex-Immortals Abbath, Armagedda and the lyrics of Demonaz, Enslaved’s Arve Isdal and Sahg/ex-Gorgororoth’s King Ov Hell. Everything about their music is black metal except for the guitars, which sound like they could come off any Motörhead record. People will be really surprised by this one in a good way.
Biggest disappointment: A tie between Atheist and Destruction. Vocalist Kelly Shaefer, who played guitar for the band until he developed an undiagnosed carpel tunnel syndrome, sported a doo rag on top and a hat over that. He also wore an Otep T-shirt.Very Axl Rose. The crowd seemed ambivalent to their set. Destruction vocalist/bassist Marcel “Schmier” Schirmer kept saying “This is Bergen! I expect a fucking mosh pit.” He wasn’t obliged. I like Destruction—and I even liked their new album—but when I saw them in 2000, it was a better show.
Best Euro-doom song ever: “The Cry Of Mankind” by My Dying Bride. Fucking brilliant. The crowd loved this one. They also played “Forever People,” which just made the set so much more amazing. I hadn’t seen them since their only US tour in 1996, when they opened for Dio. This band has been grievously overlooked in the States for that reason.
Best T-shirt: The 18-million different Bathory T-shirts I saw. I, the band, even dedicated a song to Quorthon. That band was so influential, it’s depressing how I haven’t seen one Bathory T-shirt in the US.
Most annoying T-shirt: “Be nice to me. I’m rich.” Norway is among Europe’s most wealthy countries, but come on!
Best souvenir: The copy of former Gorgoroth and Molested drummer Erlend Erichsen’s novel, Nasjonsalsatanisten, about the early ’90s Norwegian black metal scene. It’s currently being translated into French and German. Who cares if I can read none of those?
Stupidest person on the trip: The Continental Airlines representative that told me my baggage was checked through to Bergen, when I needed to pick it up in Oslo and bring it through customs. Thanks a lot. I’m glad I got to wear my beige dress slacks to the black metal show. Oh, and I’m glad I got to stink, too, and spend money on more toiletries because our country can’t have good foreign policies to prevent terrorists from wanting to kill our countrymen. As they say in Norway, Faen i Helvete (“Fuck off to hell”).
Best record stores: Apollon (Bergen). They stock all of the locals’ CDs and vinyl. Looking for newly released Enslaved or Gorgoroth vinyl? Start here. Nosebleed Records (Oslo) had a booth at the Hole In The Sky fest. I bought some cool rarities from them: an original copy of the Emperor/Enslaved split CD, an original copy of Beherit’s Drawing Down The Moon and an original copy of Darkthrone’s Transylvanian Hunger. And Platekompaniet (Bergen), where I purchased German versions of Slayer’s first three albums in lavish digipacks and the Emperor Vs. Thorns CD.
Band I was too tired to watch but did anyway: Celtic Frost. It was so worth it too. See them live. It was worth hearing all the Norwegians try to scream like Tom G. Warrior in the beginning of the set, as they played “Procreation Of The Wicked.” Their new stuff sounds like a cross between the Melvins and Khanate. No two Celtic Frost records sound alike!
Weirdest grafitti: The Kimya Dawson scrawl on the way to the concert hall. Also, this anti-Nazi thing where the swastika is backwards.
Most confusing thing on Norwegian television: The bald guy who sings Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” while people chat about it on the screen next to him.
Biggest black metal irony: The fact that Gorgoroth’s Infernus lives between two churches… and that he’s listed in the phone book.
Best excuse to stay sober: Norway’s Hansa beer pretty much sucks, and because Norway is so expensive, it also costs close to ten bucks. Gross.
Most unsurprising fact: I really want to go back to Norway. It’s a beautiful country; Bergen is a beautiful city. This was one of the most life-altering events of my life.
Look for my article on I in an upcoming issue of Decibel magazine. Thanks to Nuclear Blast for flying me over, and to CMJ’s editors in chief for this blog post’s space. For more on black metal, check my other blog, http://sadnessisdelicious.blogspot.com.
