As a young, hard-working single woman in this often cruel and unfair world, I wholeheartedly endorse Pharrell Williams‘ new ultra-premium liqueur, Qream With A Q. The rapper teamed up with Diageo, the world’s largest liquor producer, in order to design the next fourth-wave feminism craze: fruity, creamy alcohol. That’s what fourth-wave feminism is all about; while third-wave feminism refers to empowered women who grew up with “feminism in the water,” so to speak, fourth-wave feminists like myself have grown up with feminism in our liquor.
“Qream was created for contemporary women who work hard and want to relax with friends at the end of the day,” Pharrell told AllHipHop.com. “Women make up half the population and Qream is about celebrating that power.”
Not only does Qream sound delicious—its debut flavors are Strawberry Qream and Peach Qream, mmm—it sounds like the dawn of a new age in the female experience. According to Diageo’s Director of liqueurs marketing Anna MacDonald as quoted by AllHipHop.com, Pharrell’s “ability to deliver memorable experiences has the potential to allow Qream to become synonymous with women celebrating life with style, class, and quality.” After all, nothing says “I am a well-educated, self-respecting, empowered, fashionable, and successful woman” like a cocktail with a name that has been purposefully and inexplicably misspelled. Is it called Qream With A Q because “liqueur” has a Q in it? Is that the idea? Q does happen to be my favorite letter in the whole entire alphabet, especially because it reminds me of being a girl.
The day Qream With A Q hits shelves later this month will be the day young women finally “qlaim” their right to be defined by wealthy, attractive men who want to get them drunk on ultra-sweet booze and have sex with them. I look forward to the day when high school freshman girls can pay $55 to douse themselves in a fragrance Justin Bieber says girls should smell like—”flowery and fruity”—and are no longer forced to choke down Hpnotiq in order to embarrass themselves at horny school dances.
Diageo is also working on a project with Sean “Diddy” Combs. There’s no word yet as to any details about what they’re working on, but it probably will taste like a Jolly Rancher-flavored condom and contain GHB, vodka and sugar.