Ever since Daft Punk’s bone-jam “Get Lucky” was released, everyone has been trying to fuck, and I don’t say that lightly. I have scientific evidence to back up my theory that post-”Get Lucky,” universal sex-having has increased three-fold. Durex apparently caught wind of this trend (or saw my Powerpoint presentation), and (according to NME) cashed in on it by creating a line of “Get Lucky” condoms. This is a great marketing idea, because it’s probably the first time people not having sex will buy condoms just to sell them on Ebay.
I haven’t seen the condoms in person, but I have a few suggestions for Durex that they possibly haven’t thought of:
1. “Get Lucky” starts to play when you tear open the wrapper.
2. Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo or Thomas Bangalter’s face silk-screened onto the tip of each condom, for some truly intimate moments with the duo.
3. Free pizza.
It’s unclear if the love gloves will be available to the masses, but Durex has been distributing packages to DJs, who, everyone knows, have a lot of sex. Earlier this week, Diplo posted a photo of the condoms on Instagram with the caption, “Thank god I had those daft punk condoms last night.” Someone should tell Diplo you don’t need condoms to masturbate. Buuuuuuuurn.