A few weeks ago, Diplo‘s crew Mad Decent hosted a party at Le Bain, the club on the top of the Standard Hotel in New York where Paz de la Huerta chucked a glass at some MTV ho’s face a few months ago. I didn’t go, but my friends did. The next day they were like, “Oh yeah there were a trillion gorgeous, fashionable people and naked girls in the pool and some famous photographer was there handing out money and there was a magician turning water into uncut cocaine” (or something). That’s sort of what I would expect of an event hosted by a well-known party collective who rules the mainstream-hip international dance music scene—which is why I was not prepared to go on the night Brooklyn rained all over me and my frizzy hair and stuff.


Spank Rock chose a different New York cliché to enact for his listening party for his forthcoming LP Everything Is Boring And Everyone Is A Fucking Liar (out September 27 via Bad Blood) last night: a bar in the Lower East Side, with less people and more beards and less money per capita. The bar and the turnout were pretty tiny and tucked away; the doors to the tiki bar are big warehouse doors that seem forbidding to open, and Spank Rock’s party is “all the way at the back,” according to Jason outside. The décor: kitschy, touristy even. The clientele: a mix of People Who Were There and People Who Were There To See Spank Rock. Mostly the members of the latter were distinguishable because, if male, they looked kind of like Spank Rock: young, black, attractive, dressed like Kid Cudi—which is great, because black hipster guys are the cutest. But by a quarter past nine Spank Rock had disappeared, perhaps only momentarily, and the tiny back room was all but empty.


As for the Spank Rock himself and the listening of his music, that all seemed secondary or incidental. It wasn’t a “listening party” the way I would have expected. I was thinking of like, the Beatles’ album release party for Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, basically a slobber fest over the creators of whatever revolutionary music they had birthed. I was thinking Mad Decent, like a big flamboyant champagne-popping-over-the-Hudson, neon body paint and Ecstasy kind of character. I just expected there to be more attitude about how awesome Spank Rock is, but he was just kind of there, hanging out in a big hat and all black or whatever, pulling off the rap guy look. Moreover, the party itself was pretty boring, not completely focused on Spank Rock or his music, and by no means extravagant.


The listening party was more an opportunity to hang out at the same bar as Spank Rock and sip expensive drinks at about 1,000 calories a pop. Only the back room played any Spank Rock, and it wasn’t even a noticeably different or new album. It sounded like Spank Rock playing at a bar, not The New Album By Spank Rock Being Played At His Listening Party, so I couldn’t really say how it is compared to his past work. I guess I’ll have to wait till September like everyone else.