Bands Worth Watching

 

Paper Mice

Three piece RIO slayernauts. Without a doubt one of the tightest fucking bands around, but not mindlessly robotic. Short herky-jerky bursters, not heard since 1981 by some asshole in Soho. Sounds deceptively simple and unpretentiously mathy. Just a rad fellowship of three dudes making killer tunes.


Rectal Hygienics

Chicago’s favorite butt boys attempting to outgross us in the anti-family tradition of the PMRC. This is America’s answer to Rusted Shut’s answer to Brainbombs. Dirty filthy fucks rocking you straight to the dome. That’s all you need. Can’t keep talking. Out of butt jokes.


Toupee

A most fitting name for the floppy sweat holder that sweeps ever so gently against the brow of Chicago’s face. Buncha weirdos wearing makeup. Singer screams like a hawk. She makes me scared sometimes.


Basic Cable

Homey, you dumb fuck, if you don’t know Basic Cable you don’t know shit. My War-era Black Flag enthusiasts with a guy who sits on stage doing who knows what! Sometimes he just sits, sometimes he has a remote control, whatever it is this band is heh-vah-eee. Where’s our Basic Cable VHS tape demo?


Lord Mantis

A terrifying serpentine black metal onslaught. The heaviest band in Chicago, the most evil band. This has the potential to incite bouts of violence in heretofore calm nerdlings. Worthy to be beaten to death to.

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